Winter of the Goddess
by RosyRock
Summary: Part 3 in my Goddess series. Pure PC.


DISCLAIMER: Paramount owns them all. I just lure them into a static warp bubble, where anything goes!

This is part 3 in my "Goddess" series. I think there may be one more story in this series. Tell me what you think!

Winter of the Goddess.

With your hand in mine

We will walk the way of the dark divine

Oh how I dreamed of things impossible.

Seems like a life ago

I had walked the fields where the flowers grow

I had picked the bloom of my beautiful sorrow

Oh how I dreamed.

Sometimes I feel your pain

Like a driven nail, like the falling rain

Like the future pulled through an open vein.

Oh how I dreamed.

See the gaping wound

The blood on which I float

Your love is both the poison

And the antidote

That saves me.

'Oh how I dreamed" by Wendy Rule

Beverly woke early. Her back was killing her. She shifted her weight. The child in her womb kicked her in protest.

She sat up in bed and ran her hands over her belly. There was no denying it, she was huge. No wonder her back ached so much!

She slid her feet into her slippers and made her way downstairs to make a cup of tea. Her child, lulled by the gentle movement of her body, stilled and went back to sleep.

Beverly sat in the kitchen of her Nana's house on Caldos.

The night had been cold, but the old wood stove stood warmly, still offering its heat.

Beverly had returned to see the glory of late summer on Caldos come and go, the leaves had turned into the gold of Autumn, and now the bare branches of winter.

_The wheel of the year had turned. The dark of Samhain had balanced the brightness of Beltane. I've almost come full circle. Soon the baby will be here_, she thought.

_Yes, whispered the Goddess._

Beverly sighed and let the memories wash over her. It had been so long since she had seen Jean Luc. His name carried with it a wave of sadness and regret so intensely physical it made her gasp as if she had been dealt a blow.

_Jean Luc. Can't you feel my pain? _

She had been so full of hope when she had given him her news. She had been sure he would be as happy as she was to find that she carried the child of their love in her womb.

Instead, he had reacted with anger and disbelief. She remembered the stinging words he had thrown at her. Asking her how she, as a doctor could have let this happen to herself; to them.

She had told him the truth. She didn't know how the impossible had happened, only that it was so.

Then they had been drawn into the tragedy of the house fire at La Barre, Jean Luc's sorrow at the deaths of his brother and nephew. Next, the drama of the Nexus and the resulting loss of the Enterprise D.

Beverly watched as Jean Luc's world had fallen apart around him. The more she had tried to get closer to him, to comfort him, the more he had avoided her. It seemed the thought of the child growing in her belly, and all it represented, was something he was not ready to face. She wondered secretly if the wisdom of the old ones was true when it said that men have trouble coming to terms with the changes in their lives. For women the phases of life, like the triple Goddess- the maiden, the mother and the crone were so easily understood, but for men, fearing the impact to their lives that being a father brings, it was not so clear cut.

By the time that she was to be reassigned, things had gotten so bad between them she had asked for extended leave, hoping against hope to get a reaction from him.

She had been to see him before she left the Enterprise and had told him gently of her plans to return to her Nana's house and bear the baby there. She had kissed him and told him she would give him time to face his demons. Jean Luc had seen her to the transporter room, and let her go.

So she had come home to Caldos.

Home to her people.

They had welcomed her with open arms. She was a powerful healer, as her grandmother had been before her. That her belly was full of the fruits of the Goddess at Beltane caused not a stir.

She had tried to contact Jean Luc, but she had received no answer to any of her messages. Her troubled thoughts plagued her soul. Was she destined to walk this path alone, to raise another child on her own?

Though Will and Deanna she had found out that Starfleet had plans for an Enterprise 'E'.

Of their Captain they had heard nothing. Deanna had seen her friend's sadness, sensed her fears. "Don't worry Beverly, he'll be alright." She had said. "He'll come to you."

But he hadn't.

And soon his baby would be born.

She felt the now familiar tears begin to fall like winter rain.

_And outside the Goddess wept with her._

The room was growing lighter. The pink fingers of dawn were spreading across the grey sky.

There was a knock on the old wooden door. She made no move to answer it.

The knock sounded again, more urgently this time.

Beverly got up out of her chair and stretched her aching back.

She walked over to the door, having lost none of her natural grace in the last month of her pregnancy and opened it.

"A man could freeze to death out here in the rain, Beverly Crusher." A voice said in deep teasing Gaidhlig.

Beverly answered him in the same language. "And what would you be doing out and about at this time of the morning, Ewan McDonald?"

"I was on my way to see to the traps, when I saw your light on. I thought I would stop by and make sure everything was alright with you and the bairn." Ewan said.

Beverly grew serious now. "I'm fine Ewan."

"You've been crying." He stated.

She couldn't deny it.

Once again he cursed the man that had bought such sorrow to her.

Ewan McDonald was a giant of a man with the build of a rugged highlander. He had a very soft spot in his heart for Beverly Crusher. He had been her friend for many years and at one stage had been much more. She was his childhood sweetheart. He had been her first lover. His picture, he knew, still stood in her room.

She had left him behind to explore the stars, been married, a mother and then widowed too soon.

And now she was back again with the child of another in her belly.

He wondered for the umpteenth time just what sort of man this 'Picard' of hers was. That she loved him dearly was obvious. The child she carried was much more that just the product of the lust of Bel's fires. She was soon to give birth to his bairn, and yet the man Picard had never come to see her.

He was obviously a fool.

Beverly stood watching him, her hands braced behind her back as she stretched her muscles. The movement accentuated her girth, and Ewan wondered how it was that he could still find her so attractive even this far along in pregnancy, and to another man at that. The woman had something of the Goddess in her for sure. She was just as beautiful now as she had ever been.

She smiled at him. "Why don't you come in and get warm. I'll make you something to eat. I could do with the company."

_The man that fathered the baby on you should be here to keep you company_, Ewan McDonald thought darkly.

But he smiled for her and said, "That would be grand."

They sat and talked, and by the time he was ready to leave, she was at least on the surface, happy.

She walked him to the gate. He put his arm around her waist, his hand on her belly and bent down to whisper a joke in her ear. He felt her laugh. He couldn't resist pulling her closer, placing his lips on hers, remembering the feel of her, just one more time.

Beverly was for a moment too stunned to react, and let his lips caress hers.

And so they were when Captain Jean Luc Picard came upon them.

His resolve almost faltered as he took in the sight before him. A very pregnant Beverly in the arms of a very handsome man. The man was kissing her, and it certainly looked like she wasn't complaining.

He cursed. Loudly.

"Jean Luc!" the shocked words slipped out of Beverly's mouth.

Ewan looked closer at the man approaching them. So this was her 'Picard'.

He was older than he'd thought.

Balder, too.

But the man had a presence, and from the look in his eyes, unfinished business with Beverly Howard.

The couple standing before Jean Luc broke away from each other but, he noticed, the other man did not remove his hand from Beverly's waist. It was a gesture of protection, of ownership, of rivalry.

Gracefully, Beverly left Ewan's side.

She walked the short distance to face him.

"So, you've come." She said shortly, full of fire.

Jean Luc marveled at her spirit. He had treated her appallingly, had left her to cope while he had wallowed in his own self pity. He had thrown away the gift she had offered him…..

"Yes." he answered simply.

"Well you'd better bring your bags into the house, before I change my mind."

She turned her back to him and walked slowly down the path towards the house.

Jean Luc picked up his bags and followed behind her.

Beverly stopped to talk quickly to Ewan McDonald.

"Is this him?" Ewan asked.

"Yes it is." She answered.

"Do you want me to hit him for you?"

"Not yet."

"You know where I am if you need me."

The Gaidhlig had flowed so fast between them that Jean Luc had truly felt like an outsider.

Ewan cracked his knuckles, threw a truly menacing look at 'Picard' and walked slowly away.

Inside the house Beverly turned towards Jean Luc. She lifted an eyebrow and crossed her arms.

_Her body language said 'This had better be good!'_

Jean Luc placed his bags beside the door and looked at her.

"Beverly." She felt the child inside her kick as he said her name.

"Jean Luc." She answered as cool as could be.

The silence stretched between them.

"So what brings you back to Caldos?" Beverly said at last.

Jean Luc winced. _Oh merde! I deserved that. _

He lowered his head, ashamed.

Beverly nodded at his bags. "You can put them in my old room. I think you know the way."

She turned and dismissed him.

Beverly went straight into the kitchen. _Oh shit, _did she need to sit down. She had felt her heart leap at the sight of him coming along the road to the house. Thank God Ewan had been there to hold her back or she would have run down the road to meet him like some lovesick school girl. She had to play it cool. Let him woo her if he wanted her. Let him think that she had taken an old lover back into her life. Let him _suffer!_

She smiled and patted her belly, "Your daddy's come home." She said softly.

Upstairs Jean Luc was not feeling at all well. _The picture on the dresser. _That's where he had seen the man she was with before! He picked it up. So the old flame had returned had he, offering a shoulder to cry on and god knows what else…

Beverly heard him moving around in her old room upstairs. She quickly gathered her wits together and by the time Jean Luc entered the kitchen she was busying herself with some cleaning.

She heard him cross the room, and felt a prickle of anticipation as he came to stand behind her.

He put his hands on her shoulders and slowly turned her around until she was facing him.

She didn't want to meet his eyes, so she let her head drop.

She shivered as she felt his fingers move softly over the skin along her jaw, then onto her shoulder and down her arm until he reached her hand. She felt his fingers lace through hers warmly. She watched his thumb massage the palm of her hand, the sensual movement causing a frisson of arousal to race through her.

He used his other hand to tilt her chin up.

His eyes locked on hers. "I love you." He said softly, simply.

She saw his head lower and closed her eyes to receive his kiss.

His lips were warm and firm.._ how I dreamed of this…_she felt his hands draw her into his embrace The kiss became hungrier. His hands moved down her back and onto her rear.

He pulled her into him as close as her belly would allow, and held her there as if he were afraid to let her go.

She let herself indulge in a small caress up along his back and then kissed the side of his neck. She parted her lips and let her tongue slip out to taste him. She had to know that he was real, not some illusion.

She heard the hiss of his breath between his teeth. His hands tightened on her butt and she felt his mouth against her ear. His whispered words of lust made her skin glow as hotly as the sinful things he was saying to her.

Beverly felt her body giving in to him. _So much for playing hard to get, she chided herself._

Jean Luc's mouth had left her ear and was moving down her neck onto her shoulder. She felt his touch as he moved the neckline of her blouse so he could kiss her further downHe gently undid the buttons and let his hand slide lazily inside to cup her breast.

"Why can't you just say 'sorry', like everybody else?" she scolded softly.

He smiled. "I'm sorry Beverly."

"I find it hard to have a conversation with your hand on my breast," she said seriously.

"I don't." he stated flatly. He bent to kiss her again.

The child between them chose that moment to move restlessly in her womb.

Beverly felt Jean Luc's reaction. Startled, he removed his hands from inside her blouse and placed them gently on her belly.

"Does it do that often?" he asked in wonder, but before she could say anything the baby answered for her, stretching and kicking an affirmative beneath his hands.

Beverly smiled, Jean Luc was such a serious man and it showed as he concentrated on feeling the movement of his child inside her. So different to Jack - he'd always had a joke to crack or a funny one-liner to lighten the situation, but this man…as different as night and day they were. She knew that Jean Luc's emotions ran so deep…everything he did, he did with passionate intent. She had seen that so many times during their friendship and even more so as his lover.

"My child." He said softly, possessively.

And at that moment she forgave him everything…

"Make love with me." She said softly.

"Are you sure?"

Beverly answered him physically, with a kiss.

Jean Luc had undressed her slowly, He was being so gentle with her, treating her like she was fragile, made of glass.

Beverly was pleased at his restraint but after so many months of longing she wanted him. -Now.

"Jean, we can do more than just kiss you know."

Beverly took his hand and placed it on her belly. "It's okay to have sex right up until the baby's born." She moved his hand further up to her full breasts. "You just need to learn the right technique, that's all."

She moved against him. "I have to feel you in me Jean Luc."

It was all the encouragement he needed.

She showed him the ways to pleasure her, how to make love without the baby getting in the way., The sight of her fertile body responding to him only enhanced his enjoyment.

At last Beverly felt her orgasm break over her, she gasped sweet and low, and let the man she loved feel exactly how pleasurable it was for her. She heard his moan as he too gave into the bliss her body had given him.

They lay together sated, their legs entwined, Jean Luc hard up against Beverly's back. His hand across her belly.

Jean Luc spoke into her ear, "So where does this leave your admirer, Ewan?" he said smugly.

Beverly stretched and answered, "Well I suppose he will still have his sweet memories of me, when I was young and slim and innocent."

"It seemed like he was after more than a memory to me." Jean Luc almost huffed.

Beverly was enjoying this immensely. "He cares for me."

"You still have his picture in your room"

"Well, Jean Luc, a woman never forgets her first lover."

Jean Luc was speechless.

"Don't let that gruff exterior fool you," she went on. "He was a very gentle and tender lover, he taught me…."

"Beverly! I don't want to hear that! Jean Luc exclaimed.

"Well, you asked!"

"The picture goes!" he snapped.

"Yes, Jean Luc." She said sweetly.

She felt his smile against the skin on her shoulder.

Beverly chuckled happily. He had come home to her.

Their child stirred within her. She felt Jean Luc's gentle hands move over her belly, comforting his restless baby.

As his hands moved, he sung a gentle song in French.

"What's that you're singing?" Beverly asked.

"A lullaby my mama used to sing to me when I couldn't sleep." He said softly.

Beverly turned towards him, drawing him into the heat of her embrace. "I love you too." She said, and kissed him.

_Outside, the tears of the Goddess had stopped. She would return soon to Caldos, after the long winter's end. Her sunlight now shone brightly on the house, warming it with the first traces of spring._

To be continued….


End file.
